Sunday, February 7, 2010

And now for something completely different: Order of the D30 random background generator

As its sunday and I decided it was time for something silly and best used once and ignored, the D30 Instant Background generator. All players roll a d30 as they create their character and go nuts.

1. Polymorphed Chipmunk: You are the result of testing a wand of delayed polymorph. You've been a person for two years now and are still trying to get things down pat.
2. Rightful Heir: You are the rightful heir to a minor nobles throne. Of course you are currently heir to a much better throne as long as your cuckolded 'father' doesn't find out.
3. Rabbit Warrior: Trained in isolation by a druidic cult since you were a baby, you are one of the seven animal warriors. The eagle warrior, the bear warrior, the wolf warrior, the viper warrior, the lion warrior and you. Truth be told they are all *#$%'s to you and make fun of your rabbit suit that you wear, so you've decided to strike out on your own.
4. Go-Getter Undertaker: You completed your undertaker apprentice ship, problem is there isn't enough work for all the existing undertakers. Being an impatient sort you decided to generate some business.
5. Thog: You are Thog, Thog Not Speak word with more than one Sy..sy..sound.
6. Klingon: K'Plah!
7. Emo: You're middle class parents didn't get you, so you eventually left your room (Rent? As if) and took your chances in the greater world. You tell everyone your name has the word dark in it.
8. Penitent Clown: Your whole life was one of dignified academia, you struggled to be valedictorian in clown college..but then a pie related accident due to your own negligence killed over 40 nuns and orphans, now you are a self-flagellating clown, destined to atone for your one error.
9. Jo the Temp: You were just supposed to run some errands for the day until the regular got back, this...this seems like a lot more than you signed on for.
10. World's Worst Mime: Your propensity to announce everything you are doing loudly has made it hard to find work as a mime. Adventuring is the only work you can get.
11. Elvis: A freak accident in the time space continuum warped you into this bizarre realm, now you are just trying to do the best you can.
12. Dr. Sam Becket : You have leaped into this body, and need to set things right where once they were wrong. Hopefully Ziggy will have some more advice.
13. I Drew the Knight: Someone drew the Knight in a deck of many things, but then died of a heart attack. You have no history before yesterday.
14. Cliche: Your parents really WERE murdered by orcs and you really DO have a psychological condition where you trust anyone you meet in a tavern who wants to go on adventures with you. This makes you really sensitive when you think others are faking your conditions.
15. The copier is like really broken: While trying to fix the copier at work, you left the accounting department and wound up here.
16. From Oz: The freak tornado that through Dorothy in Oz? It threw you here 20 minutes ago.
17. From the other Oz: Those prison officials really should have confiscated your RPG books earlier, with the help of your character Blackleaf you learned magic and teleported here.
18. TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT: While it in no way impacts your stats, you are a transformer, you can transform into +1 crossbow in a full round.
19. Vampire Slayer: An accident in the early 90's warped you from the USA to this bizarre realm. Time to fight evil and make 90's pop culture references chosen one.
20. Normal Guy: You are actually pretty normal, your parents are alive you had several well adjusted siblings and you really don't have a lot to complain about.
21. Last of the the Taarakians: You've got wickedly awesome knockers. I hope your playing a girl character.
22. Mel Gibson: You are any one of Mel Gibson's characters transported to this fantasy realm, with the caveat that for some reason you are really well adjusted and think this is a normal switch.
23. Cat: You are an anthropomorphic cat, you talk, somehow manipulate objects as if you had fingers and are yet still able to poop in a box. As a magical side effect, no one seems to find it odd that you are a talking intelligent cat and they will alternatively treat you as either a person, a pet or both.
24. Deformed Orc: You are a hideously hideously deformed orc, your tribe has shunned you and you have fled for human lands. Oddly enough the deformity makes you look like an attractive human. You find the sight of yourself revolting though.
25. One and a Halfling: Although you insist you are a giant and powerful halfling. You seem just like a kind of short guy. You are beginning to wonder if you are crazy or everyone else is.
26. An illusion: You are actually just an illusion, and people could disbelieve you if they had any reason to. You are determined to make sure that everyone doesn't disbelieve you at once, then you might stop existing..
27. A towel: You are an anthropomorphic towel. You are truly the worst character ever.
28. Disney Princess: You are a Disney princess of your choice. Somehow your happily ever after was stolen from you and you ended up here. While you do want to get back, you are noticing you can do things that were physically impossible before..like curse..or be unladylike in any manner..
29. Which one is real?: You have the same background as the player seated to the left EXACTLY the same.
30. Uh oh: You rolled a d30 to check your characters background and ended up having your mind transported into their body in the fictional game world. Crap, the GM loves TPK's too.

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